Some Kind Of Wonderful

Should guys be measured by the same ruler? For example, if we hear stories about what some guys do for a girl, should we be led to believe that most guys are similarly thoughtful when they like a girl?

Before anyone jumps to the defensive "of course not!," let me say that I get that not all guys are innately thoughtful. Different people have different degrees of showing that they care -- he who shows less does not necessarily care less. But then I hear those stories of some kind of wonderful, of small gestures that show he wants to be with her, and I'm reminded of what a caring guy is capable of.

I keep circling back to the conclusion that if a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen, no matter what. He will want her as his girlfriend lest she could become someone else's. He will spontaneously tell her he's thinking about her (maybe even misses her). He will try to remember her likes. Even the heretofore "thoughtless" guy will think to make that extra effort because he's just that into her.

Which raises the question, if a guy isn't doing the above, is it because there isn't (and shouldn't be) a general ruler to measure all guys against? Or is it because he's just not that into you, and you'd do well to take his actions (or lack thereof) as a potential flag?

Optimistic me wants to say the former. Cynical me says to make the mistake once is his fault; to make it again is mine.