Same Difference

A 7x7 article called "Fear Factor: On San Francisco's Commitment-Phobic Reputation" naturally caught my eye as I was waiting at my dentist's recently. While it was an interesting read, I was approaching the end before any chord really struck...but boy, did it strike.

"Is it possible you go for commitment-phobic guys because you're actually terrified, too?"

Hmm. All along, I saw myself typecast the guys I was attracted to -- intelligent, career-driven, confident, independent. Oblivious, aloof, casual, noncommittal. I found myself gravitate to guys who always eventually remembered that they were more into themselves than into me. I figured I was more emotionally mature and took pride in that.

But could I just be the flip side of the same coin? Is it possible I go for guys who can't commit because I can't stomach being with ones who can?

After all, I've also seen myself like a deer in headlights when good guys seemed too interested or available. I've shrugged off chivalrous gestures as attempts to try too hard. I've opined that relationships as popularly practiced are too confining.

I've stood on this soapbox pointing a finger at uncommitted guys, unaware of the three pointing back at me.